Friday, January 06, 2006

Ooops, I Just Wrote an Emo Song

De como escribir una canción emo y otras cosas:

"A being with no subtely or tact, let's call him a friend, said this to me recently: "You have no job, what do you do all day?" I said: "I drink coffee and walk in circles about the city. I read a little, and nurse nostalgia." He said: "That's the lamest thing I've ever heard. It sounds like you just wrote an emo song.
Later, I was sitting on a vinyl booth-seat in a pizza place ogling the petite pizza wench when I had the most wonderful epiphany. I had just written an emo song. It occurred to me then and occurs to me now that emo music is not about writing songs, but about realizing that emo songs are being written all the time. The only trick is writing them down.
But how does one identify emo-lyrical moments? One test is this: if it passes for "Gilmore Girls" dialogue then it is probably an emo song. Example:

"Please pass the mustard."
"There isn't any left."
"There's never any left."
"There's never any left."

Without asking your permission someone put an imaginary guitar lick behind your last statement. You've been emoed. Let's try another situation. You are walking your dog and waiting for him to poop so you can scoop it up in a plastic bag and feel like a good citizen. While you are waiting for your animal friend to complete his business you might say to yourself: "Come on already, we're out in the cold, and you need to get it together so I can be warm." If this does happen, and you do say this to Fido, don't be surprised if Fido turns around and fixes you in an accusatory brown-eyed stare and pees on your shoe. Fido is trying to say two things at once: "You are my property, bitch." and "You just wrote an emo song."
In what other instances might you find yourself accidentally writing emo songs?
Traffic is a popular emo-composing situation. As in: "Everyone is always trying to cut me off, but they can't see that I'm going somewhere." Or, on the phone to parents you might say: "I'm broke but okay; come visit soon." And of course there are our worst moments which scream emo: usually drunken phone calls to ex-girlfriends who are inches away from filing for restraining orders.
Now that you know how to recognize an emo song you can amaze and astonish your friends. Point out to them whenever they accidentally write a tender emotional ballad. Better yet move to Omaha, start a band, and turn whiny self-oriented conversation into a lucrative art form."
Kevin Peckham

· Top of the world, Patty Griffin (sip, es una emo song) ·

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